Friday fun: SOA is the only thing Chuck Norris can't kill.

Friday fun: SOA is the only thing Chuck Norris can't kill.



  • SOA is the only thing Chuck Norris can't kill.
  • SOA invented the internet, and the internet was invented for SOA.
  • SOA is not complex. You are just dumb.
  • In the last year, SOA increased Turkey's GDP by a factor of 10.
  • One person successfully described SOA completely, and immediately died.
  • Another person successfully described SOA completely, and was immediately outsourced.
  • Larry Ellison once died in a terrible accident, but was quickly given SOA. He came back to life, built a multibillion dollar software company, and now flies fighter jets.
  • Guns don't kill people, the SOA WS-* stack kills people.
  • SOA can write and compile itself.
  • SOA is an anagram for OSA, which means female bear in spanish. It is a well-known fact in the spanish-speaking world that female bears are able to model business processes and optimize reusable IT assets better than any other hibernating animal.
  • SOA is so great 10 facts aren't enough.
  • SOA is the mistress to all CIOs.


Talking about THE MAN...did you know that:

1. When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
2. All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
3. Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
4. Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
5. Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
7. Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
8. Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
9. All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
10. MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).

More at Code Squeeze...

Great to see another fan! For the rest of you please proceed with caution - lame Chuck Norris jokes to follow:


- CN (Chuck Norris) version of the Agile Platform is implemented with punch cards


- CN can make the Agile Platform deploy at the same time to ENIAC and to a ZX Spectrum - with no downtime


- When CN publishes an eSpace the Agile Platform generates a C++ application


- For CN Backlog means throwing a big stick to someone's back


- OutSystems has a certification just for CN - Pain Delivery Manager


- CN hits Web Screens without allowing them to do any Preparation


- When CN first downloaded the Agile Platform Community Edition he used it to create Tekken 7 for the PS3


- Some people have tried to give Feedback to CN - may they RIP


- CN can create a fully working application only by using AbortTransaction and RaiseError objects


- CN installed the Agile Platform Enterprise Edition on his old nokia cellphone


- CN thinks Integration Studio developers are woosies - he only smacks code in assembly


- CN has moderate respect for some eSpaces - he thinks they have balls


- CN is the Manager of all Enterprise Managers


- CN is 37.2% more productive than the Agile Platform - this makes him 68.6% more productive than .NET


- CN uses the waterfall methodology - if someone disagrees with him he throws them down a watterfall


- CN changed ECT and it is now called Embedded Chuck Technology - Do not use it!


- CN once entered a Scrum - and then it was silence


- Never ever join a Bootcamp with CN


- A single CN eSpace uses 10^100 Software Units


- CN once won a Rubik Cube challange against an OutSystems R&D engineer


- For CN 1-CP means 1-Chuck-Punch


- CN is an OutPlusSpecialExclusivePartner


- CN Entity Attributes are all of Binary Data type


- CN can make any Timebox grow or shrink as he pleases


- CN's actions in Service Studio are (dark) black squares - he feels orange circles are a bit gay


- US presidential candidate Mitt Romney has received an Endorsement from CN - He is now a certified ex-presidential-candidate


- CN manages 150 Service Centers with 150.000 eSpaces - all by himself


- CN creates applications in the unsupported OutSystems Hub Edition 2.1 just because it is harder


- If you create an action called ChuckNorrisRoundhouseKick in your eSpace the Agile Platform will enter an infinite loop


- A CN Sprint will take 0.012 days


- CN can kill a CSS and JavaScript guru just by looking at him


- CN can break any For Each cycle


- CN does not call Web Services - Web Services serve CN


- CN has 25 x 8 lifetime support


- When CN uses the database all transactions get deadlocked


- CN uses vi to edit eSpaces


- CN understood how to use the Style Guide even before knowing what the hell was Service Studio


- All eSpaces created by CN have only a single unescaped expression


- CN application do not need any security - users will know better


- CN can make AJAX refresh work in lynx


- CN (Chuck Norris) once created the Sizing of a project called "The Internet"